Are you inny or outie?

Kevin Kirkpatrick
Posted 5/27/21

Depending on who cut your umbilical cord and how they tucked that baby in, we all seem to end up with a variety of belly buttons. It's kind of interesting to Ol’ Dutch that doctors, society or fashion mags have let that left over from our mother’s womb remain unchanged as it really seems to have no real purpose.

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Are you inny or outie?

Posted

Depending on who cut your umbilical cord and how they tucked that baby in, we all seem to end up with a variety of belly buttons. It's kind of interesting to Ol’ Dutch that doctors, society or fashion mags have let that left over from our mother’s womb remain unchanged as it really seems to have no real purpose.

Mostly it becomes a repository for lint off our shirts and, not being of the Catholic persuasion, I am not sure what you do with that every Spring, but it has some religious connotation, I guess.

It does represent a dividing line on the human body of sorts so there is that at least. And it does appear, especially among the millennials, that the doctor did a poor job with that simple act as the current generation just cannot seem to be cut loose from their mommas and move out at any age.

I guess a repository for shirt dust is better than a suppository, but it still is more of a nuisance than benefit as far as Ol’ Dutch can tell. And of course, studies have been undertaken and the T-shaped navel has been voted to be the most attractive which means -- well, nothing unless you are a model.

But hold onto your horses, friends and relatives, it appears that there is new evidence that the mid-line indentation that we carry from our birth just may have a significant use after all. As with anything, if you give people enough time on their hands they will start to mess with things, and it appears that now they have begun to find beneficial things to do with that belly hole.

It seems that the addition of certain oils to your navel has a medicinal effect on a person's body. Yes, you heard that right.

People who use this method claim that oils such as castor oil seem to help in weight loss, regular application of coconut oil makes for healthy internal organs and prevents bloat, neem oil can cure acne and almond oil boosts the glow on one's face. And yes, they even have a name for it, the Pechoti Method. While it sounds like a new kind of pasta down at Riggaloties, it's a real practice and you can google that in your spare time if you ever get that bored.

Proponents of this technique suggest all kinds of oils and herbs for application but from researching this a person should be mighty careful just which oils you do use. It seems that olive oil increases fertility in both men and women and so caution should be used unless you want a passel of kids filling your larder. While I am unsure why olive oil would help in that department at least internally, maybe the two participants get so slick they just fall into bed together?

It's no wonder Ol’ Dutch has been feeling a bit slow and run down as I bet, I am running about a quart low. That's never good for a finely tuned machine such as myself. (Will someone please get Miss Trixie a doctor? Her eye-rolling is non-stop these days.)

Now while I cannot recommend applying anything into your belly button, I am sure some of you will find uses for that center hole even if it's just a place to hide a mini tootsie roll from the kids.

And if you do so and apply castor oil will that then offset those calories.  It’s gonna be a slick summer.


Kevin Kirkpatrick and his Yorkie, Cooper, fish, hunt, ATV or hike daily. His email is Kevin@TroutRepublic.com. Additional news can be found atwww.troutrepublic.com.